On Something Something In The Month Of May

I realise that the month of May is now done and dusted, but I do feel as if I didn't blog nearly as much as I could have during the month. I would like to say it is because I was terribly busy - in fact, that may very well be the case, I can't really recall. I think mostly it was that it was a whirlwind of activity, from start to finish. A lot of things happened in the month, and it's often hard to keep track. Sometimes I feel as if time is slipping through my fingers before I have time to realise what I've lost. I wish that it would slow down a little.

For one thing, I cannot believe that the end of my first year teaching is nearly upon me. I feel as if it went by way too fast, now that the end is in sight. I definitely think I've grown a lot in this year. I don't necessarily even mean just as a teacher; I think as a person I have grown a lot as well. I was talking to my friend Rachelle today, and she made a comment about how she hasn't changed. It made me wonder if I had. It's hard for me to judge, because I'd like to say that I haven't, but I also haven't been around my friends and family in months (at least not for prolonged periods), and if I were going to change at all, they would be the ones who would notice. The friends I make here only know the Krista that I am when I am here. That person could be totally different from Canadian Krista; how would I know?! It's a weird thing to think about, and I do hope that I have stayed the same. I mean, obviously I'm perhaps a little bit more 'worldly', having now lived in England for nearly a year (and planning on staying for more). I've been fortunate enough to travel (not nearly enough, I might add), and seen most of the United Kingdom. I still need to venture across the channel though. That'll come next year, I hope.

It all hinges on my ability to find a job for September. I do hope to get that all sorted soon, so I can stop worrying. It's hard looking at the lack of jobs in Canada. I've already made up my mind to stay in England, but I still worry. I miss home a great deal; I miss my family and I miss my friends. I miss 'home' and everything that it entails. I miss my cat. I just miss being there. But I also know that I'm not done here. I'm not done with this part of my life, this road of the journey. I don't want to say that I'd stay in England forever, because we'll never know how the future turns out, but I also can't say that I won't. It's weird. Really weird. I feel that my future is really up in the air. I'm not sure where I want to be in five years. I'm not sure who I want to be in five years. I just hope that in five years time I'm comfortable in my career as a teacher, and that I am FINALLY madly in love with some amazing guy (who, I must admit, I hope is British - I do adore their accents. Nearly a year into it, and I still do not find the accent unattractive).

Anyways, I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here, and for that I apologize. I will try to update this more, so that I'm not as disconnected from the people back home. I will try to keep you posted on the comings and goings of my life.

Things in my current job are going well. The kids are really starting to grasp that I won't be back in September, and a lot of them are feeling quite sad about it. Not a day goes by that at least one of them doesn't express some anger and concern about my position in September. A few have said they are going to chain me to my desk. It makes me feel pretty good to know that the kids like and respect me that much; they don't want to see me go. I remember I had a teacher like that once, and I remember how much respect it takes to be able to TELL a teacher how you feel. So I really do appreciate the kids, and their concern for me. I am going to miss them a lot. I'd like to think that I will never forget them, but knowing me and my bad memory, it's likely that I will, some day. Definitely not some day soon though.

I know I had a bit of a rough start with some of them, but at the end of the day they're all pretty wonderful. The school itself has some wonderful elements about it. It is by no means perfect, but come the end of July I will be a much stronger teacher, thanks to the experiences I've had at the school. I will owe the school a great deal.

Anyways, I am going to sign off now, and leave you with some more Taylor Swift lyrics, just because I enjoy the song.

Cheers.

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There's somethin' 'bout the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
Walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah

We're drivin' down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

So baby drive slow
‘Til we run out of road in this one horse town
I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now capture every memory

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway
my hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in & I’m a little more brave
It’s the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin’, it’s fearless.

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless