On June Being Nearly Done

I feel I must apologize; I really have been slacking on updating this thing lately. However, I really have been super busy. I've been trying to secure a job for next year (which I was finally successful at obtaining), trying to plan for my two new year 7 groups (it's proven to be MORE work to have these classes than the two year 11groups that I lost - yet another bone of contention that I have these days), having a healthy social life with my wonderful new man, and generally just trying to survive.

I could probably type for ages, and spin a really nice yarn, about everything that's happened over the past few weeks. I've got a few narratives that I'd like to put out there, but I also don't want to bore people with the mediocrity of my life.

I suppose where I should begin is with the tale of my successful job interview.

It started at the ungodly early hour of 5:30 am. I had to get up early, because they'd asked me to be at the school at 8 in the morning, which is before classes start. Usually that wouldn't be a big deal, as I'm at my school now at around that time (or maybe 10 minutes after). However, because the school isn't as close as my current school, I had to work out a different travel plan. Unfortunately the only option open to me, due to where I currently live, was calling a taxi. I knew it was going to cost me a pretty penny, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. The taxi arrived at 7am, and whisked me on my way.

It was a pretty long ride. If you've ever lived or travelled in England, I think you can sympathize when I say that the roads here are laid out in the most inconvenient way; you can only get into towns or cities via a few select roads. It's not like back home, where you can enter a town on one of many different side or residential roads. In England it seems as if they want to make life hard for communters. You can walk anywhere in this country, and have a multitude of pathways to choose from, but if you're driving you're pretty much stuck with one route. There are rarely alternative routes, unless you want to get sidetracked. It seems like in order to get from A to B you are forced to go through C first, backtrack around D and then finally your path will bring you to B. It's ridiculous. Whoever designed the roadworks here must have been on drugs. You cannot get onto the highways at multiple points either. There are very few spots where you can merge onto a highway. One way, baby.

But anyways, I am digressing. The trip to the school seemed to take an eternity. We also encountered pretty conjested traffic (and this was on COUNTRY roads, mind you), and I started to get a bit nervous that I would be late.

Finally we arrived in the village. Unfortunately, neither myself nor the cab driver knew where the college was. However, he followed some signs, and we found it easily enough. However, unbenounced to us, the school is situated on two sites. I was dropped off at the second site. It was a bit of a trek for me, and I made a few wrong turns, but eventually I found my way to the office.

Walking up to the school, I was struck with how beautiful it was. It seemed to me to be located in a cream colouted, Victorian style mansion. The front entrance was a large, floor to ceiling door wooden door, with marble columns and a round marble porch. As I walked into the reception, I definitely got the impression that the place had been converted from a former home. In the centre, past the main reception, was a large wooden staircase, leading upstairs somewhere. Around me where a few spacious rooms, with high ceilings and wooden floors.

I walked up to the recpetion desk, got a vistors badge, and waited to be collected. Soon one of the assistant heads came and brought me to a meeting room, to fill in a bunch of forms. I was then chatted up by him, and he basically explained that the day would run fairly laid-back. He hinted that they'd already decided to hire me, based on what they'd heard from my current head of department, and that today was just to ensure that it was going to be a good fit. This made me feel a little more secure about the process, as interviews in England can be very daunting.

I was then met by the department head, who was very laid back and friendly. She was a cheery looking, bubbly woman, who made many jokes to try and put me at ease. She seemed to not take things super seriously, which also served to put me at ease. I was definitely starting to feel pretty good about this school.

The department head lead me up the wide wooden stairs, telling me that students did not get to walk up the stairs; it was a privelege only teachers had. They creaked loudly with each step, which instantly made me think of my home in Tillsonburg. We laughed at the noise, and it was explained to me that the building had initally been built by a race horse jockey in the 1900s. However, due to gambling, he had lost all his money, and hence the house. It was then bought by the village and turned into a posh grammar school. Years later it was bought out by the public system, and merged with the school across the pathway (which is why the school is in two sites), to become the school it is today. The English and Maths departments are located in this old main building, and the other departments are in the other half.

I conducted my lesson after this, which I felt went really well. I had a good rapport with the students, which I think was observed. They were also eager to discuss some of the topics I had at hand (the lesson was on facts and opinions), which I think boded well for me.

After the lesson, I was whisked into the 'English Teachers Jacuzzi', which is the comfy English office. It was laden with soft chairs, tables, a mini-fridge, and loads of books and sweets. I was chatted up, and felt completely at home.

I was then given a tour of the school by two year 8 students, and finished with my interview with a panel of governors and the department head.

I answered the questions as honestly as possible, and with as much confidence as I could muster, and it paid off. I was offered the job.

I quickly accepted.

I am so eager to start at this school, because it is absolutely beautiful, and the staff seems very very friendly.

I will update more, as it comes up.

Cheers.

On Just Saying

I know I've been awol for the past little while; it's been a busy time for me. I'm in a pretty decent place in life though, all things considered. They could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse. I'm still looking for work, but I remain positive about that. I'll find something.

I'm happy. I'm with a really amazing guy these days, and he makes me smile.

On Wanting A Rudding Job Already!

Jezus, this job search thing is harder than I thought; you hear all the time that they're short English teachers, or teachers in general, but when push comes to shove what they mean to say is they're short BRITISH English teachers. And in my interview experience, that's just not the case. I'm really annoyed with getting passed over for jobs just because I'm Canadian, and therefore not as experienced with the British education system. Yah, thats true. So what. I came here with very little knowledge, and for someone starting from square one, I'd like to think I've done pretty well for myself. I'm a fast learner, and I've made very few mistakes along the way. Sure, I'm not perfect; I had some mishaps, but nothing monumental. Apparently that means very little though; the ability to adapt isn't as good as I had thought.

Its just blooming frustrating, to look at the job market worldwide, and have to constantly be worrying. It's driving me mad. I just want some security for next year, and I know in this crazy economy that's a lot to ask, but I'm still asking.

Ah, I could rant on and on about the interview I went to today, but I'll just leave it at that. They passed me over for some old fart lady teacher, who had more experience than me. Obviously, on a realistic level, I cannot fault them for that in the slightest. Education really isn't the type of profession where you can afford to take risks. You've got young lives on the line. But dammit, going the safe route vs going a new (but not unreliable) route still doesn't fly with me.

But whatever. The job that I'm meant to get will come soon enough. I hope.

I hate worrying.

On Something Something In The Month Of May

I realise that the month of May is now done and dusted, but I do feel as if I didn't blog nearly as much as I could have during the month. I would like to say it is because I was terribly busy - in fact, that may very well be the case, I can't really recall. I think mostly it was that it was a whirlwind of activity, from start to finish. A lot of things happened in the month, and it's often hard to keep track. Sometimes I feel as if time is slipping through my fingers before I have time to realise what I've lost. I wish that it would slow down a little.

For one thing, I cannot believe that the end of my first year teaching is nearly upon me. I feel as if it went by way too fast, now that the end is in sight. I definitely think I've grown a lot in this year. I don't necessarily even mean just as a teacher; I think as a person I have grown a lot as well. I was talking to my friend Rachelle today, and she made a comment about how she hasn't changed. It made me wonder if I had. It's hard for me to judge, because I'd like to say that I haven't, but I also haven't been around my friends and family in months (at least not for prolonged periods), and if I were going to change at all, they would be the ones who would notice. The friends I make here only know the Krista that I am when I am here. That person could be totally different from Canadian Krista; how would I know?! It's a weird thing to think about, and I do hope that I have stayed the same. I mean, obviously I'm perhaps a little bit more 'worldly', having now lived in England for nearly a year (and planning on staying for more). I've been fortunate enough to travel (not nearly enough, I might add), and seen most of the United Kingdom. I still need to venture across the channel though. That'll come next year, I hope.

It all hinges on my ability to find a job for September. I do hope to get that all sorted soon, so I can stop worrying. It's hard looking at the lack of jobs in Canada. I've already made up my mind to stay in England, but I still worry. I miss home a great deal; I miss my family and I miss my friends. I miss 'home' and everything that it entails. I miss my cat. I just miss being there. But I also know that I'm not done here. I'm not done with this part of my life, this road of the journey. I don't want to say that I'd stay in England forever, because we'll never know how the future turns out, but I also can't say that I won't. It's weird. Really weird. I feel that my future is really up in the air. I'm not sure where I want to be in five years. I'm not sure who I want to be in five years. I just hope that in five years time I'm comfortable in my career as a teacher, and that I am FINALLY madly in love with some amazing guy (who, I must admit, I hope is British - I do adore their accents. Nearly a year into it, and I still do not find the accent unattractive).

Anyways, I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here, and for that I apologize. I will try to update this more, so that I'm not as disconnected from the people back home. I will try to keep you posted on the comings and goings of my life.

Things in my current job are going well. The kids are really starting to grasp that I won't be back in September, and a lot of them are feeling quite sad about it. Not a day goes by that at least one of them doesn't express some anger and concern about my position in September. A few have said they are going to chain me to my desk. It makes me feel pretty good to know that the kids like and respect me that much; they don't want to see me go. I remember I had a teacher like that once, and I remember how much respect it takes to be able to TELL a teacher how you feel. So I really do appreciate the kids, and their concern for me. I am going to miss them a lot. I'd like to think that I will never forget them, but knowing me and my bad memory, it's likely that I will, some day. Definitely not some day soon though.

I know I had a bit of a rough start with some of them, but at the end of the day they're all pretty wonderful. The school itself has some wonderful elements about it. It is by no means perfect, but come the end of July I will be a much stronger teacher, thanks to the experiences I've had at the school. I will owe the school a great deal.

Anyways, I am going to sign off now, and leave you with some more Taylor Swift lyrics, just because I enjoy the song.

Cheers.

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There's somethin' 'bout the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
Walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah

We're drivin' down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

So baby drive slow
‘Til we run out of road in this one horse town
I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now capture every memory

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway
my hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in & I’m a little more brave
It’s the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin’, it’s fearless.

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

On Being A Lazy Git

Ahh, I really feel like such a rubbish teacher these days. That's saying a lot, considering I'm on my holidays right now, and technically shouldn't even be thinking about teaching. However, the fact remains that I brought a rather sizable stack of marking home with me, and I've really failed to put much of a dent into it. I did manage to complete all my year 10 mock exams. However, I also have to mark Allisson's groups (she went to Japan for the break, and I figured I would be a great mate and take that load off her back. She's had a rough go of it, so I don't mind....not really), and I've yet to even touch that pile. I also have to get through a few dozen year 8 gothic short stories; these are from my two top set groups, which means that the kids are insanely bright, and therefore insanely overachieving, which in turn means they will write a LOT. Looking through the pile....I can confirm that they have, in fact, written a lot. At least it will be a little more entertaining than reading boring coursework essays.

Ugh.

Why did I mention coursework!? I've only just remembered that I set a due date for the first Monday back. I really am a glutton for punishment. Ha.

Honestly though, I moan, but I don't really mean it. I think I moan because it is expected of me. I'd be considered a weirdo if I didn't, right? :P Ha ha.

Anyways, I am going to try and get through as much marking as I can tonight, so that I can go out tomorrow night (Bury St Edmunds is in the works, apparently) and enjoy myself.

Cheers.

On Blogging On My May Half Term Break

It's pretty insane how fast the time is going, these days. I have always found that once the weather starts to warm up, the days speed past. Perhaps it is because we find ourselves enjoying the days more; you know how they always say that the things you want to go slowly speed by, while the things you want to get over and done with drag on. It seems a bit bizarre though, considering the fact that the days are technically longer (with more hours of sunlight, anyways), yet they seem to slip out of your fingers. I can't believe that it was 5 weeks ago that I was in Canada. It seems like just yesterday, and yet I know it wasn't. I miss being home still, with all the comforts that comes with it, but at the same time I really am nowhere near being done in England.

That said, I really need to lock down a job for the fall. I was offered two days at week at my current school, but that offer isn't one I can seriously consider. As much as I would love to stay at the school (for the children only, trust me), two full days of work is not enough to get me by. I can't even supply on the three days I don't work at the school, because I don't have a car. Its not very easy to get from one place to another without transportation. The buses are fine and dandy if you're not in a hurry, but they're by no means reliable.

My fingers are still crossed that something will come up soon, because I really do hate this waiting game.

I start with two groups of year 7s next week as well. I am prepared for the one class, and wholly under prepared for the other. It's not my fault though, as I was told I would be teaching Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Nights Dream', only to be told on Friday (when I was not in) that it was being changed to 'Argue the Case', whatever that may be. I mean, talk about absolute SHIT notice. How exactly do they expect me to plan anything decent, if I wasn't even there on the last day to get the appropriate resources. What this NOW means is that I have to go into the school, on my holiday, and find the resources that I need. I am really quite frustrated with the lack of communication and preparation at this school. They should have provided me with way more notice than they did, because now I am left feeling like I've got an impossible workload, with very little idea of where I am going and what I am doing. I am not impressed, at all. As sad as it sounds, its all just another reason why I cannot continue to stay at the school; I'm under appreciated. It just seems like another example of 'too little, too late'....which is another underlying theme in my life.

School aside though, things in my life are looking up. Way up. You know I don't like to blog about personal things though, because you never know who may read this, and take it the wrong way. Suffice it to say, I've met someone new, and he's the total package; very very good looking, sweet, funny, intelligent... but anyways, I don't want to jinx it by saying any more. You know how it is... don't want to make any premature leaps, gotta look first.

I've not got a lot more to say at the moment; my mind is kind of in a lazy mood these days. I'll try to find some time to write more later in the week, should something come up.

Cheers.

On Having A Good Day Teaching

I left the school on Friday smiling. This isn't something that happens on a daily basis, so it's a noteworthy event. I must admit that when I entered the building in the morning I was unsure about how the day would unfold. It was our last day with the year 11 students; they're off for the rest of the year, only coming in to write exams. This is the only time I've seen the British system try to let the students access their learning in an independent fashion. It's the only time that anything they learn is up to them. I doubt they'll use it though; most of my students simply see it as the start to their summer, with a few pesky exams in the middle. Ah well, those students who are worried about doing well will do well; those who muck about will have an eye opening experience ahead of them.

Anyways, on Friday's I typically have my higher 11s first period, then a free, then my bottoms, lunch, my 9s and finish with my 8s. Fridays are usually a pretty high-energy day, with the kids coming in with bucketloads of food, sugar and hyperactive hormones. I usually have to brace myself for a day in which I am constantly using my 'high' voice - the high pitched voice I reserve for trying to shout over students who are in a constant state of titters and giggles. I stock myself well with tea.

When the 11s came in, they were mostly subdued. All of them commented on how this was their last ever English lesson at the school, and with me. The got their folders out (binders, for my Canadian readers), and sat looking at me wistfully. We shared a few jokes, and then I powered up the projector and started in on the 'quiz' like Literature exam revision. It was a silly thing my colleagues had made, where a character name and image came on the board, and then the kids had to see who could talk about that character for a minute. They were apprehensive about doing it. I stood there for a good five minutes trying to coax someone into trying to do it. I was met with a few arguments about how the game was 'unrealistic' and 'unfair', as it put too much 'on the spot pressure' on the students. I scoffed at them, and said they were making excuses for their possible lack of knowledge. They rebuffed me for that, but thats what I had wanted them to do. I pushed their buttons some more, telling them that if they couldn't talk about the character for a minute, then they were going to struggle to write about the character for ten. That got them. A few shot worried glances at each other, a few pulled some nasty faces at me for scaring them.

Finally, a student volunteered to go. They didn't make it to a minute, but the ice was finally broken. Only a few students did any of the talking, while the others kind of mucked about, but it was the best I could do with them, and frankly went better than I had expected.

At the end of lesson, they all got together at the front of the class for a picture. I took one for them, and then they asked me to be in one as well. We took a few, some kids hugged each other, and then the bell went.

"Make sure to take your folders! I don't want them here!" I said as they started to pack up.

"Aw Miss, you don't want the memories?" one of them asked.

"I've got enough in my head, thanks," I replied.

As they left, they all thanked me, and said I'd done a really great job. A few said sorry for being prats sometimes. I smiled at them, and wished them luck. I'll miss them.

My bottom 11s were even cuter. They asked for individual pictures with me, and asked me to sign their leavers books. I did. It was cute. They gave me sweets as well.

During the lesson, I asked them to write a letter, to work on their letter writing skills for the exam. At the end of it, one of the boys stays behind, hands me a folded piece of paper, and leaves. I unfolded it after he had left, and saw it was a letter written to me. In it, he said that he was sorry for not working hard enough in lesson, and for being a pain in the ass. He said it wasn't just with me that he did this, but with all his teachers, and was no reflection on my teaching ability. He then signed it, and added a postscript: "I will get a C on the exam, and make you proud. I promise."

As I read it, my eyes watered up a bit, because it was really very sweet.

The rest of the day went by without incident. My 9s were good; they have been ever since I got rid of the one annoying student; the one that made me lose my cool before the Easter break. After sorting out the fact that he wasn't meant to be with me these last few weeks, I happily sent him packing, and the lessons the rest of the week went fine. It really was just him that was holding me, and everyone else, back. If only I'd done it sooner.

My 8s came in after their lunch for the last period of the day bouncing off the walls. They usually come in quite hyper, but today they seemed especially ridiculous. They're a great bunch though, so I kind of did the 'fake mad teacher look' and they settled. It helps that they're really loving the Dracula unit.

As we were reading through the play, I saw a note being passed around. This was something new for me, in any of my lessons. I chose to ignore it though, as they were otherwise following along very well. At the end of the lesson, they came up to me with the note, and said it was for me.

At the top of the page was written : The following students want Miss Carson to stay next year.

They had all signed it.

It was so cute. I smiled at them, and said it was a very sweet thought. They asked me if it would do any good to hand it in to someone. I said I doubted it, and then tacked it beside my desk, on the wall, and said I'd use it to remember them. They all smiled, and then left as the bell rang.

Overall, it was a very cute day. The students made me feel appreciated, which is something I've been lacking lately.

In fact, I must admit this entire week has been a good one for me. Things are going well, and I'm in a good place. Feeling good, feeling great. Hopefully things remain on the sunny side.

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