Well, today is an epic day indeed. Today is a day nineteen years in the making, a day that should be marked in high style; It is my baby brother's nineteenth birthday. In Canada, the nineteenth birthday is a rite of passage, because it signals the first day that a person can purchase alcoholic beverages legally. It's probably the last monumental birthday a person can experience, before they start going downhill (for example, the 30th is the next big one, 40th, 50th, and so on and so forth, until you simply stop caring. Or start dying. Either or. Then it just becomes a race against time, a battle to avoid 'big' birthdays as much as possible. Some people argue that turning 21 is a decent birthday as well, as it means you can now venture into the United States and drink. However, I've yet to go into the United States to order a beer, and I'm 24 years old. Shame, really, but I don't really have any desire to go into the US and get pissed up. I'd likely start a fight with some two-toothed trailer trash bitch. But that's a whole other matter.
I wanted to write this post to wish my brother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and maybe reminisce a little bit about our lives together so far.
I can honestly remember the day my parents told me I was going to have a baby brother/sister. I wasn't too bothered by it, since my entire life I can remember having Sheena tagging along after me. Or rather, I should say 'towering over me', since it seems that Sheena was bigger than me from birth. I have absolutely no memories of my year and a half without Sheena (which makes sense, really since toddlers don't have the best of memories). My earliest memories actually stem from kindergarten, which was the grade I was in when Ethan was born.
My Mom used to volunteer a lot in my class when I was 5, and got on really well with all my teachers throughout my education. I think her volunteering really got her into the current career she's in; being an educational assistant (EA). I often think that she should have went through to be a teacher, as I think she'd make a really excellent one. As it stands, she often does the work of a teacher anyways, it's just a matter of a few degrees. Unfortunately, the demands of raising three children likely got in the way of pursuing a really strenuous university degree and then teachers college, so she opted for the easier and more doable route of becoming an EA. I don't know any of this for sure, but it's what I've speculated on for as long as I can remember. Being a Mom means making sacrifices, and I know my Mom has made a lot. But anyways, this story isn't about my Mom, it's about my brother.
As I was saying, my Mom volunteered a lot at my primary schools when I was growing up. She was often in our classrooms helping the teacher control the class, or joining our field trips to keep a watchful eye on us. I was never really embarrassed that my Mom was around in Kindergarten, because I think I used her as a bit of a security blanket. I was a pretty shy little wasp of a girl, so having her around emboldened me to be goofier than I would have been if she wasn't there. Anyways, I don't really remember definite details of that time, but I do remember her belly getting bigger, and how we used to touch it to feel the kicks. Once Ethan was born, she brought him into school for my class to see, because I think we'd all been kind of following along with her pregnancy, or at least as much as 4 and 5 year old kids can. I remember other kids reaching out to have Ethan clutch their fingers, and feeling a bit proud that he was 'mine'.
I also remember taking Ethan to the park that was across the street from our house. We used to sit him in the swing, and my Mom would let us tentatively push him.
I took an insane amount of pride in having a baby brother, and I'm not entirely sure why. As he was growing up, I used to brag about how I had the cutest little brother, while everyone else's was ugly.
He didn't really tag along with me as much as Sheena did, maybe because we were girls and he was a boy. The age gap could also have contributed. I think there was a period when he was growing up, when I was in high school and the start of University, where I can honestly admit that I didn't know my brother very well. I'm obviously ashamed to admit that, but it's the bold truth. A lot of that was due to the fact that during our teenage years we often become a bit self-centred. And stupid. Insanely stupid. For me, that meant focusing mostly on my boyfriend at the time, Adam. We dated from when I was 16 to when I was 21, which meant it was the period in which Ethan went from being 10 to 15. At the time, I had deluded myself, as most young girls do, that he was 'the one' and that we were going to end up married some day. What a joke. Anyways, I spent a lot of time with Adam during that time, and not a lot of time at home. I was also pulling off honours at school, and working an insane amount of hours, first at Burger King (what a horrible job, I might add) and then at Norther Getaway/Reflections (which started a rather long career in retail, which I will always have fond memories of).
My high school memories of my brother consist of him being a tiny young lad, with terrible teeth and a bit of a 'Buddah Belly', as Sheena and I affectionately called it. For such a short kid, who looked so skinny in clothes, he sure did have a belly. When he put a bathing suit on it was apparent that his baby fat had managed to accumulate in his middle, making him look a little pudgy. I knew, even at the time, that he'd likely inherit the Barnes/Carson gene of tallness (which unfortunately passed me over) and lose the baby fat, but it didn't stop me from giving him a good ribbing about it.
He was also really eager to please Adam, and myself sometimes. Whenever Adam was over, we could always count on Ethan to get us pops from the basement, if we asked him politely. I couldn't really get him to get the pops myself, but Adam always had a way of doing it. I suspect that Ethan looked up to Adam at the time, and maybe wanted him as a 'big brother' figure. I do know that as a lad, Ethan did admire Adam a lot, and I used to be really proud of their relationship. Sheena and Ethan were really the only people in my family who liked Adam, likely because they didn't have the wisdom that comes with age, and weren't able to see him for the douche that he was. When Adam and I broke up, I was horrified at the way Adam scorned Ethan. If he had been a bigger man, he would have realized how much my brother admired him, and been able to put our issues aside. However, as I know now, Adam is a very petty man and that didn't happen. Ethan was really hurt by the experience, I know that. I recall coming home from University one weekend, and he said something about how Adam never replied to his MSN messages anymore. As he got older, and started to attend more 'shows', he also told me about running into Adam at one, and that he'd said 'Hi' only to have Adam turn and walk away. What a twat. I'm just glad to know my brother is a bigger man than all that.
But anyways...
Back when I was in High School, my brother also had really geeky friends, especially this one kid named Charles. That kid was a wonder, let me tell you...the entire family called him Milhouse, because he literally looked like him. What made it worse was that he ACTED like him too...talk about adding fuel to the fire. He did have some 'cool' friends, like Devon and David. I used to always say to Sheena that Devon would grow up to break hearts, because he really was a cute kid. I wonder what he looks like now.....
Anyways! I remember giving Ethan and Devon a ride somewhere once, listening to them talk about how they were going to be best friends forever (I don't think they talk much now, ironically). I must have been in University at the time, because they were talking about how when they went away to college, they were going to be dorm-mates. It was really cute, and I recognized it as naive even at the time; having been through a few failed friendships by that point in time, I knew that things would likely change as they got older, and they'd drift apart. But I didn't tell them that then, I let them live in their fantasy.
Being so much older than my brother has a lot of disadvantages. Going way to University was the biggest one, because I really missed out on a lot of his growing up. I came home on weekends, but since I had a boyfriend, and once he was gone a job, I didn't come home as much as I could have. I was around most summers, but then I was often occupied with working full time. I think it was in second year that I came home one Thanksgiving, after not being home since I left at the start of the school year, to suddenly find my brother was no longer shorter than me. It was shocking, to say the least. In a matter of months, he'd literally shot up past 6 feet. Man, the growing pains that accompanied that growth spurt must have been brutal...
...it really hit me when we were brushing our teeth in the bathroom upstairs. We have a really long (but not wide) main bathroom, which has two sinks and a long mirror engulfing the wall over it. I was standing at one sink, and he the other. I looked up, watching our reflections, and was struck by how tiny he made me seem next to him.
I spit out my toothpaste in a rush, white froth dangling off my lip.
"Hey. When the hell did you get so tall?!" I asked him.
"I dunno, but I'm glad I did. I was really worried I'd be short like you..."
Always the cheeky one, that boy.
As we both continued to get older, I continued to learn more about my baby brother. My trips back home started to get longer as my academic career continued. Being single the last few summers meant I spent more time at home, with my family. I started to realize my brother was a pretty cool guy. He liked really indie music, but it was stuff that I could dig (for the most part). He started to introduce me to bands, and I the same to him. I'd hear a cool band back at Uni, and send him a song. He'd send me some. It was pretty rad.
We also have always shared a bit of a bond, in terms of our temperaments. I think my brother and I are a lot alike in that regard. We're both pretty laid back, though I would definitely say he's a tad more laid back than myself. We don't take things too seriously (or at least that's the perception we like to give), and yet we over analyze everything. We're thinkers. He's just more of a quiet thinker, while I'm a bit of a loud thinker. We often band together against our parents, and against Sheena, when she has one of her moods. A knowing look at each other can often be all the reassurance we need. I like to think we share a bit of a bond; I love my brother. He's my favourite brother (even if he is my only one).
I have a lot of respect for him, and am really proud of the man that he has become. He's a gentleman and a scholar (though likely more of a gentleman, though he does try to be the best scholar he can be...even if he is a bit confused about what exactly that will mean for his future). Over the Christmas break I think I got to know my brother more than I ever have before. We actually hung out a lot more, and it was really nice. I definitely think that I will have a lot more great times with my brother, and I hope to really include him in my social circle. I can see him and I being really great friends, not just brother and sister.
But anyways, I should probably stop rambling on and on. If he reads this, he's likely going to be very embarrassed. Oh well, them's the breaks. I'm a rambler, and he should know that by now. A degree in English, not to mention the fact that I teach it, commands nothing less.
I'm off to go home now.
Happy Birthday, little brother.
I wanted to write this post to wish my brother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and maybe reminisce a little bit about our lives together so far.
I can honestly remember the day my parents told me I was going to have a baby brother/sister. I wasn't too bothered by it, since my entire life I can remember having Sheena tagging along after me. Or rather, I should say 'towering over me', since it seems that Sheena was bigger than me from birth. I have absolutely no memories of my year and a half without Sheena (which makes sense, really since toddlers don't have the best of memories). My earliest memories actually stem from kindergarten, which was the grade I was in when Ethan was born.
My Mom used to volunteer a lot in my class when I was 5, and got on really well with all my teachers throughout my education. I think her volunteering really got her into the current career she's in; being an educational assistant (EA). I often think that she should have went through to be a teacher, as I think she'd make a really excellent one. As it stands, she often does the work of a teacher anyways, it's just a matter of a few degrees. Unfortunately, the demands of raising three children likely got in the way of pursuing a really strenuous university degree and then teachers college, so she opted for the easier and more doable route of becoming an EA. I don't know any of this for sure, but it's what I've speculated on for as long as I can remember. Being a Mom means making sacrifices, and I know my Mom has made a lot. But anyways, this story isn't about my Mom, it's about my brother.
As I was saying, my Mom volunteered a lot at my primary schools when I was growing up. She was often in our classrooms helping the teacher control the class, or joining our field trips to keep a watchful eye on us. I was never really embarrassed that my Mom was around in Kindergarten, because I think I used her as a bit of a security blanket. I was a pretty shy little wasp of a girl, so having her around emboldened me to be goofier than I would have been if she wasn't there. Anyways, I don't really remember definite details of that time, but I do remember her belly getting bigger, and how we used to touch it to feel the kicks. Once Ethan was born, she brought him into school for my class to see, because I think we'd all been kind of following along with her pregnancy, or at least as much as 4 and 5 year old kids can. I remember other kids reaching out to have Ethan clutch their fingers, and feeling a bit proud that he was 'mine'.
I also remember taking Ethan to the park that was across the street from our house. We used to sit him in the swing, and my Mom would let us tentatively push him.
I took an insane amount of pride in having a baby brother, and I'm not entirely sure why. As he was growing up, I used to brag about how I had the cutest little brother, while everyone else's was ugly.
He didn't really tag along with me as much as Sheena did, maybe because we were girls and he was a boy. The age gap could also have contributed. I think there was a period when he was growing up, when I was in high school and the start of University, where I can honestly admit that I didn't know my brother very well. I'm obviously ashamed to admit that, but it's the bold truth. A lot of that was due to the fact that during our teenage years we often become a bit self-centred. And stupid. Insanely stupid. For me, that meant focusing mostly on my boyfriend at the time, Adam. We dated from when I was 16 to when I was 21, which meant it was the period in which Ethan went from being 10 to 15. At the time, I had deluded myself, as most young girls do, that he was 'the one' and that we were going to end up married some day. What a joke. Anyways, I spent a lot of time with Adam during that time, and not a lot of time at home. I was also pulling off honours at school, and working an insane amount of hours, first at Burger King (what a horrible job, I might add) and then at Norther Getaway/Reflections (which started a rather long career in retail, which I will always have fond memories of).
My high school memories of my brother consist of him being a tiny young lad, with terrible teeth and a bit of a 'Buddah Belly', as Sheena and I affectionately called it. For such a short kid, who looked so skinny in clothes, he sure did have a belly. When he put a bathing suit on it was apparent that his baby fat had managed to accumulate in his middle, making him look a little pudgy. I knew, even at the time, that he'd likely inherit the Barnes/Carson gene of tallness (which unfortunately passed me over) and lose the baby fat, but it didn't stop me from giving him a good ribbing about it.
He was also really eager to please Adam, and myself sometimes. Whenever Adam was over, we could always count on Ethan to get us pops from the basement, if we asked him politely. I couldn't really get him to get the pops myself, but Adam always had a way of doing it. I suspect that Ethan looked up to Adam at the time, and maybe wanted him as a 'big brother' figure. I do know that as a lad, Ethan did admire Adam a lot, and I used to be really proud of their relationship. Sheena and Ethan were really the only people in my family who liked Adam, likely because they didn't have the wisdom that comes with age, and weren't able to see him for the douche that he was. When Adam and I broke up, I was horrified at the way Adam scorned Ethan. If he had been a bigger man, he would have realized how much my brother admired him, and been able to put our issues aside. However, as I know now, Adam is a very petty man and that didn't happen. Ethan was really hurt by the experience, I know that. I recall coming home from University one weekend, and he said something about how Adam never replied to his MSN messages anymore. As he got older, and started to attend more 'shows', he also told me about running into Adam at one, and that he'd said 'Hi' only to have Adam turn and walk away. What a twat. I'm just glad to know my brother is a bigger man than all that.
But anyways...
Back when I was in High School, my brother also had really geeky friends, especially this one kid named Charles. That kid was a wonder, let me tell you...the entire family called him Milhouse, because he literally looked like him. What made it worse was that he ACTED like him too...talk about adding fuel to the fire. He did have some 'cool' friends, like Devon and David. I used to always say to Sheena that Devon would grow up to break hearts, because he really was a cute kid. I wonder what he looks like now.....
Anyways! I remember giving Ethan and Devon a ride somewhere once, listening to them talk about how they were going to be best friends forever (I don't think they talk much now, ironically). I must have been in University at the time, because they were talking about how when they went away to college, they were going to be dorm-mates. It was really cute, and I recognized it as naive even at the time; having been through a few failed friendships by that point in time, I knew that things would likely change as they got older, and they'd drift apart. But I didn't tell them that then, I let them live in their fantasy.
Being so much older than my brother has a lot of disadvantages. Going way to University was the biggest one, because I really missed out on a lot of his growing up. I came home on weekends, but since I had a boyfriend, and once he was gone a job, I didn't come home as much as I could have. I was around most summers, but then I was often occupied with working full time. I think it was in second year that I came home one Thanksgiving, after not being home since I left at the start of the school year, to suddenly find my brother was no longer shorter than me. It was shocking, to say the least. In a matter of months, he'd literally shot up past 6 feet. Man, the growing pains that accompanied that growth spurt must have been brutal...
...it really hit me when we were brushing our teeth in the bathroom upstairs. We have a really long (but not wide) main bathroom, which has two sinks and a long mirror engulfing the wall over it. I was standing at one sink, and he the other. I looked up, watching our reflections, and was struck by how tiny he made me seem next to him.
I spit out my toothpaste in a rush, white froth dangling off my lip.
"Hey. When the hell did you get so tall?!" I asked him.
"I dunno, but I'm glad I did. I was really worried I'd be short like you..."
Always the cheeky one, that boy.
As we both continued to get older, I continued to learn more about my baby brother. My trips back home started to get longer as my academic career continued. Being single the last few summers meant I spent more time at home, with my family. I started to realize my brother was a pretty cool guy. He liked really indie music, but it was stuff that I could dig (for the most part). He started to introduce me to bands, and I the same to him. I'd hear a cool band back at Uni, and send him a song. He'd send me some. It was pretty rad.
We also have always shared a bit of a bond, in terms of our temperaments. I think my brother and I are a lot alike in that regard. We're both pretty laid back, though I would definitely say he's a tad more laid back than myself. We don't take things too seriously (or at least that's the perception we like to give), and yet we over analyze everything. We're thinkers. He's just more of a quiet thinker, while I'm a bit of a loud thinker. We often band together against our parents, and against Sheena, when she has one of her moods. A knowing look at each other can often be all the reassurance we need. I like to think we share a bit of a bond; I love my brother. He's my favourite brother (even if he is my only one).
I have a lot of respect for him, and am really proud of the man that he has become. He's a gentleman and a scholar (though likely more of a gentleman, though he does try to be the best scholar he can be...even if he is a bit confused about what exactly that will mean for his future). Over the Christmas break I think I got to know my brother more than I ever have before. We actually hung out a lot more, and it was really nice. I definitely think that I will have a lot more great times with my brother, and I hope to really include him in my social circle. I can see him and I being really great friends, not just brother and sister.
But anyways, I should probably stop rambling on and on. If he reads this, he's likely going to be very embarrassed. Oh well, them's the breaks. I'm a rambler, and he should know that by now. A degree in English, not to mention the fact that I teach it, commands nothing less.
I'm off to go home now.
Happy Birthday, little brother.
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